Today’s question comes from Breanna from Chicago…
“Me and my husband were recently married in January, and we are considering combining our bank accounts.
And really the reason we are considering it is just because it seems like that’s “what you’re supposed to do” when you get married.
But we’re trying to figure out if it’s for us or not. So we’re going through some pros and cons. Really the main pro that I can think of is that I am really into budgeting. And I don’t really get a picture of the whole family situation because I don’t really see what’s happening with his dollars.
Other than that we couldn’t really think of much else for pros and cons. We do kind of split our bills according to how much we make. So whoever makes more money ends up paying a little bit more of the bills.
We are planning on having kids soon so our expenses will change soon, but it’s nothing that I think we can’t handle.
So if you guys know of any pros and cons that could help us make this decision, that would be really helpful! Thank you so much.”
Matt & Joel’s response: Congrats, newlyweds! Combining bank accounts, that’s the real commitment, right!?
And honestly, the pro you already offered is a huge one. It’s likely the #1 reason to strongly consider combining accounts.
Here are some other thoughts to consider…
Stronger relationship
The most recent study we saw on combining finances with your partner found that couples who combine money experience more relational satisfaction.
So if you like being happy, that’s another check in the pro column for combining accounts!
When you get married you’re intentionally weaving your life together with someone else, for better or worse (richer and poorer). To make those vows & to hold back elements of life integration can have lingering side effects.
Combining your strengths
You mentioned you love budgeting. That’s something your new hubs can benefit from!
If he hates budgeting (or is just not confident all the money is being managed efficiently), then he can turn the reigns over to you for that stuff.
And whatever money strengths your husband has, like investing or maybe crushing side hustles, he can focus on that for both of you.
Combining finances means you both benefit from each other’s individual strengths.
It stokes regular money convos
There’s also something about combining money that forces you to have hard conversations (not fun in the moment necessarily) that you might otherwise completely avoid. And avoidance can lead to a growing distance.
You actually want to provoke those conversations and being forced to talk about money regularly will help in that endeavor.
Couples who combine finances also said that they tend to see eye to eye on their finances more frequently. Again, likely because it prompts those conversations and makes you resolve issues versus kicking the can down the road.
You’re orienting towards each other. You’re molding the two of you into a joyfully synchronous unit. Which is awesome.
You are regularly discussing other important topics (like having kids!), so why not make money a part of that too?
Joint ownership
Combining finances as newlyweds also feels less business-like…and that’s a good thing!
If your income is yours and your student loans are yours to pay off and you each pay for half the vacation, that feels kinda rigid and individualistic.
Keeping finances separate misses out on that healthy team vibe you’re often striving for.
Hyper-individualism can work fine in some contexts, but it can kill some of the magic in a loving relationship. There’s real power in two people who love each other pushing for the same thing at the same time.
Team work makes the dream work! Shooting towards joint goals, with joint money, is a stronger way to attack things.
Play money
Keep in mind – it’s important to leave some room for autonomy and individual freedom.
This might look like a a certain line item in your budget, where each of you is allowed to spend something like $300 no-questions-asked in whatever way you choose, even though all of the money is flowing from a single account.
If you want to buy fancy craft beer and he could care less, you still get to! And maybe he likes buying physical books while you borrow them from the library.
As long as it comes out of his monthly agreed amount, who cares! No need to fight about it.
Another way to tackle this is to have two separate accounts and one joint account. And attempt to have the best of both worlds. It’s not our favorite, but it works incredibly well for lots of couples.
It’s not for everyone
Combining finances isn’t the best course of action for everyone! Plenty of couples keep separate accounts, and they make it work.
Not every relationship is created equal. So don’t just follow the crowd because “that’s what you think you’re supposed to do”.
If there are trust issues or if you got married later in life and have had separate finances for a long time, you might want to make different choices. We’ve got no problem with that.
For example, folks who already have kids, businesses, or major assets with previous partners may be reluctant to join finances and muddy the financial waters even further.
Pros and cons of combining finances:
So to answer your exact question, here’s a summary list of pros and cons if you want to combine those finances.
Pros to merging money:
- Easier budgeting and bill paying: You alluded to this already. Having a single family budget is easier and more efficient!
- Faster progress on money goals: Two incomes pooled together is a powerhouse that can attack debt, invest a ton, etc. quicker than a solo saver.
- More transparency: Yes, it might stoke fights in the short term. But it’s waaaaaay better than kicking the can down the road.
- Stronger relationship: The stats don’t lie. Couples with joint finances may be happier and stay together longer.
Cons to combining money:
- Previous assets or families: If you’re coming from very uneven financial backgrounds, it might be cleaner to keep things separate.
- Potential conflicts: Lack of trust or a big difference in money habits can lead to arguments.
- Complications if you separate: We hate even bringing this up. But things could get hairy if you ever need to reverse course and split accounts. Prenups and postnups
can be crucially helpful on this front.
The Bottom Line:
If you want to keep those newlywed fires burning, combining your finances is more likely to do that than keeping things separate.
We’re not trying to completely eliminate individuality, of course. We’re pushing towards that happy teammate mindset. We think you’ll be more likely to experience harmony in your marriage if you take the combining approach.
Not to mention, it makes it easier to create and achieve mutual goals. There’s real power in pooling resources as a married couple, especially when you’re DINKS (double income no kids!). Combining those accounts is one of the ultimate ways to show you’re on the same team, wearing the same jersey color.
Cheers and good luck, Breanna!
For the full version of this discussion, check out Podcast Episode #886 (it’s the 1st question in the episode)
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